I have been listening to a track called Breaking Dividing Walls, Vineyard which started me thinking about the way my life has changed recently.
Relationships, can't live with them, can't live without them. Actually I tended to live without them. Don't get me wrong there were people in my life. I just had a really good defence mechanism to protect myself from hurt and pain which kept them away. Occasionally, someone would slip through the net and I might let them in a little closer, that was until, in my head I had a reason not to trust them. I actually spent a lot of energy and time finding reasons why I should put the barriers up and push them all away. Ultimately no one really got too close. Really sad thinking about it now.
The thing is, now life has changed and for the better. I am not trying to say that everything is fixed, it's far from that. I have just noticed that certain relationship are deeper, more meaningful and built on mutual respect, than they were before. I'm sat with people enjoying their company and wanting to be around them. There is no defence mechanism in place and the good old ego takes a rest (well for part of the time).
Words can't describe what it was like to be with people and yet not be with them. Praise the Lord through Jesus Christ for His forgiveness and setting us free to live the life He wants for us all.